Leaked: An Exclusive Interview With A Ravishing Beauty

Lovelies!
Do you realize what day it is?
It's June 3rd.
Does that ring a bell?
No?
It's okie. I still love you.

My blog turns a year old today! Zomg and huzzah and wowness! Butterbeers all around! First and foremost check out my newly dip dyed hair and say lots of nice things about it -

I'm pretending to look deep and mysterious. I'm probably thinking about cat gifs. Don't be fooled.

On the occasion of this yummy day, I have arranged for you an exclusive interview, starring -

AK, the ever famous exotic interviewer, and
AK, the ever famous blogger.

COMMENCE


AK - Good evening.
AK - Thank you for having me.

AK - Thank you for taking the time out from your busy schedule! And I must say, you look ravishing, you oaf. I know you quit your workout routine weeks ago but I'm still obliged to say this.
AK - It's not a problem. It was either this, or another round of Fruit Ninja against myself, or differentiation questions. I'm actually getting pretty good at those -

AK - Yeah, yeah, all right nobody cares. So I hear your ever famous blog turned a year old today? Your fans must be excited?
AK - Oh that they are. They personally called me to tell me. Both of them in fact!

AK - Haha, congratulations. You've officially been jobless for a year!
AK - Mucho thanks. The credit goes to the uninteresting study syllabus combined with my ability to type as fast as lightning on my mobile.

AK - I will ignore the fact that you just said 'mucho thanks' whatever the hell that means. So now I'm obliged to ask you a deep question, such as, Why do you write?
AK - Ah, I shall call that a good question and frown, as I pretend to think, though I'm wondering if I should stop at McD on my way back. I'm now going to clear my throat, and begin my well rehearsed answer: The question is not why do I write. The question is why not? Isn't language the greatest of gifts bestowed upon us? Isn't this what makes us superior to other species on the face of this Earth? I write not for your approval nor mine. I write not to be accepted, to be praised, to be laughed at, to be admired, to be remembered. I write because I know nothing else. I know no other way to express myself clearly. It's been rightly said - "Either do something worth writing, or write something worth reading."  Also, I'm definitely stopping at McDonald's later.

AK - I will 'hmm' and 'ah' even though I didn't agree with/listen to a word you said. I recall something about writing, so I'll ask you this - do you see yourself doing this professionally?
AK - I will scratch my chin and think, wondering whether I should get a Filet-O-Fish later, or maybe just fries. But ah yes, I don't think I can see myself doing this professionally. Contrary to public opinion, I'm very bad at handling criticism (hahha low self esteem ftw lololol so funny hahaha wow got 99 problems and low self esteem is all of them) so I don't think I'll be able to handle it when people don't like my work. I'm just trying to be the best that I can, to accept MYSELF, because as Sylvia Plath said, "The worst enemy to creativity is self doubt."

AK - I see...speaking of doubts, a lot (almost all) of the people don't find you funny and think you should just shut up. Thoughts?
AK - Such people exist? *high pitched laughter with hints of unresolved self-esteem issues* It's okay, we have different perceptions of humor. After all, "One person's craziness is another person's reality."

AK - I've been meaning to ask you: what is it with you and quotes?
AK - Er, we're in love. It's healthy. I have a jar full of them. I've also scribbled them on my walls.

 They keep memories fresh. After all, "Sometimes memories crawl out of my eyes and roll down my cheeks."

AK - Er, it's "sneak out of my eyes".
AK - ...

AK - Your lack of knowledge is starting to bug me, I'd like you to leave now...
AK - :(

AK - Okay fine er what is your favorite quote?
AK - Well you know I love all it depends on my mood I can't just pick a favorite -

AK - I will cut you.
AK - "There comes a time when you look into a mirror and realize that what you se see is all that you ever will be. And then you accept it. Or you kill yourself. Or you stop looking into mirrors."

AK - Tennessee Williams, so sassy.
AK - I know right.

AK - Didn't I ask you to leave.
AK - :(

Thank you dear reader, for all your support. I don't care if you read regularly, or if this is your first time or last time reading my blog. Just...thanks. Much love from Anoushka.