A Breathing Paradox

A BREATHING PARADOX 

Sleep eludes me some nights,
Though beckon as I might.
I sweet-talk it into coming,
Until I hear morning birds humming.
Yet sometimes I spend hours in bed,
Asleep when my pillow is hit by my head.
These times are not rare,
To find me peacefully asleep and blissfully unaware.
I ask myself, how can it be?
Two clashing souls alive in me?

Some days I curl my short locks,
I wear my favourite cream frock.
Spraying perfume on my wrists,
Adorning bracelets onto my fists.
But ah - I may not always pluck my brows,
I often forget to wash my blouse.
My eyes I may not line,
My skirt may bear stains of white wine.
I ask myself, how can it be?
Two clashing souls alive in me?

When it's cold,
I wish I had someone's hand to hold.
"You're beautiful", he'd shyly confess,
Even when I looked like a mess.
But I also enjoy solitude,
And escape someone else's swinging moods.
To walk by myself in the snow,
Directionless, wherever I wish to go.
I ask myself, how can it be?
Two clashing souls alive in me?

I can't even look people in the eye,
And can't open up no matter how I try.
I sit in a corner, dejected
From society, feeling rejected.
And yet, there are days when I skip, not walk!
When I can endlessly talk!
I can throw my head back and laugh till I cry,
You'd think me anything but shy.
Again, I ask myself : how can it be?
Why are two clashing souls alive in me?