Greetings boys and gals and non-binary pals!
I am currently sitting in my room which is in desperate need for a vacuum, but the vacuum cleaner is all the way across the hall, and since I went for a gym class today we can all agree I have completed my work out quota for the day. What is semi-interesting about my gym class is that it was a dance class, and the interesting (debatable) part about that is that I usually go for that class with my friend, who is an excellent dancer and can actually follow the instructor, whereas my coordination skills are not the best in the region, so seeing us dance together isn't exactly the most motivating part of my day. My dance moves include an awkward shoulder bobbing and also some head nodding if I'm feeling extra adventurous. Also the last time I actually danced at a club was also when I hit a random boy on the head with a giant beach ball. No context. Context doesn't even make it better, frankly. Clubs in Glasgow can get wild. Can't really comment on the whole clubbing scene though, seeing how the only place I usually go to on Friday nights is the pub right next to my house, and it is to eat curly fries. Yesterday, I went there all alone after my morning Psych lecture, and treated myself to curly fries at 11 am, which just goes to show giving me a credit card was a big mistake.
I really want to stop talking about curly fries now and move on but I can't think of a subtle way to do this.
*can you do me a solid and pretend this sentence was the transition okie tnx xoxo*
I can't believe I've been back at uni for more than a month now. So much exciting stuff (Fresher's week, a capella society, stats lectures) has happened, and so has a lot of not very exciting stuff (climbing 75 flights of stairs to get to my new flat, dieting and eating 'healthy', did not sign up for this good lifestyle thing, ew). The most exciting and recent event in my monotonous life was probably last night, when I was deemed elected as a board member for one of the uni's student unions (the best one, in my unbiased opinion). I had spent the entire week campaigning around campus, surviving solely on oatmeal for some reason, and not really sleeping, but to be fair that is not something I do anyway, and who doesn't love oatmeal, so I'm not complaining really just counting my blessings. Wow, that got super wholesome, super fast. I need a second.
The campaigning was exhausting and also amazing. I still can't believe I won, my entire campaign revolved mostly around self deprecating jokes, pictures of food, and my obsession with one of our uni's buildings. I would like to think I have gathered expertise beyond my age in the field of what to do, but more importantly what not to do to get votes.
(Hey I wrote something similar once hahaha what a great time to be alive check it out Interviews - DOs and DON'Ts (Mostly DON'Ts)
Let us commence:
PRIORITISE:
- I walked around with a cardboard sign around my neck, with my campaign slogan written on it. This took (I kid you not) three hours to make. For my degree examination in Econ last year, I forgot my ruler and drew the graphs that had to be very precise with my student card, that was bent in the middle. However, whilst writing on a cardboard with a sharpie, I made sure I used the best ruler money could buy.
ATTRACT PEOPLE:
- Sometimes you see someone with a face that is rather nice. I don't know why this sentence turned out this way, but I'm keeping it. Anyway, I was climbing the Hill of Death from the main gate to the library, when I saw a young attractive male looking in my general direction. The exact moment when we made eye contact, my cardboard sign (which was around my neck) hit me on my face, spreading my purple lipstick to my chin(s). Scotland is a great place, but the wind can be unfortunate sometimes. I kept a scorecard between my sign and me, and so far it is 75-0. I have been defeated by half of an amazon box. The apocalypse is now.
BE SUBTLE:
- Some of my friends helped out a lot with my campaign. They distributed cupcakes with me, they gave out my flyers, they shared their thoughts and opinions, but most importantly, they listened to me talk about it c o n s t a n t l y for 7+ days. Thankfully, I am very skilled in the art of subtlety, so I could ask them for favours and help with the campaign, without sounding too desperate/needy/unprofessional/all around psychotic.
DO NOT THREATEN:
- University students love food. Do you know what else they love? Not spending money. I gave out lots of free muffins and cakes and doughnuts with my flyers stuck on them to tempt people into voting for me. I am an extremely hyper active person, and my friends can be just as enthusiastic as me. Whenever anyone would pass us, my friend would immediately run up to them with the tray of food inches away from their mouth and ask breathlessly "HEYDOYOUWANTSOMEFREEFOODITSFREENOMONEYVOTEFORANOUSHKA"which was very nice and worked mostly, but it made me question the method somewhat.
DON'T MAKE EYE CONTACT THAT IS REALLY WEIRD I AM SERIOUS:
- The free food concept ended up working really well, but there were lots of times when my friends and I just stood with the trays of food waiting for someone to take something. During this time, whenever anyone would even glance at the tray, I would immediately look into their eyes, then smile really slowly and creepily. I think a few times I even yelled "Come and get it, I know you want it." at complete strangers, and I have since been informed I am not allowed to do that.
This entire blog post was just an excuse to issue a formal apology for my extremely inappropriate behaviour.
I was high on sharpie fumes.
I cannot be held accountable.
I am currently sitting in my room which is in desperate need for a vacuum, but the vacuum cleaner is all the way across the hall, and since I went for a gym class today we can all agree I have completed my work out quota for the day. What is semi-interesting about my gym class is that it was a dance class, and the interesting (debatable) part about that is that I usually go for that class with my friend, who is an excellent dancer and can actually follow the instructor, whereas my coordination skills are not the best in the region, so seeing us dance together isn't exactly the most motivating part of my day. My dance moves include an awkward shoulder bobbing and also some head nodding if I'm feeling extra adventurous. Also the last time I actually danced at a club was also when I hit a random boy on the head with a giant beach ball. No context. Context doesn't even make it better, frankly. Clubs in Glasgow can get wild. Can't really comment on the whole clubbing scene though, seeing how the only place I usually go to on Friday nights is the pub right next to my house, and it is to eat curly fries. Yesterday, I went there all alone after my morning Psych lecture, and treated myself to curly fries at 11 am, which just goes to show giving me a credit card was a big mistake.
I really want to stop talking about curly fries now and move on but I can't think of a subtle way to do this.
*can you do me a solid and pretend this sentence was the transition okie tnx xoxo*
I can't believe I've been back at uni for more than a month now. So much exciting stuff (Fresher's week, a capella society, stats lectures) has happened, and so has a lot of not very exciting stuff (climbing 75 flights of stairs to get to my new flat, dieting and eating 'healthy', did not sign up for this good lifestyle thing, ew). The most exciting and recent event in my monotonous life was probably last night, when I was deemed elected as a board member for one of the uni's student unions (the best one, in my unbiased opinion). I had spent the entire week campaigning around campus, surviving solely on oatmeal for some reason, and not really sleeping, but to be fair that is not something I do anyway, and who doesn't love oatmeal, so I'm not complaining really just counting my blessings. Wow, that got super wholesome, super fast. I need a second.
The campaigning was exhausting and also amazing. I still can't believe I won, my entire campaign revolved mostly around self deprecating jokes, pictures of food, and my obsession with one of our uni's buildings. I would like to think I have gathered expertise beyond my age in the field of what to do, but more importantly what not to do to get votes.
(Hey I wrote something similar once hahaha what a great time to be alive check it out Interviews - DOs and DON'Ts (Mostly DON'Ts)
Let us commence:
PRIORITISE:
- I walked around with a cardboard sign around my neck, with my campaign slogan written on it. This took (I kid you not) three hours to make. For my degree examination in Econ last year, I forgot my ruler and drew the graphs that had to be very precise with my student card, that was bent in the middle. However, whilst writing on a cardboard with a sharpie, I made sure I used the best ruler money could buy.
ATTRACT PEOPLE:
- Sometimes you see someone with a face that is rather nice. I don't know why this sentence turned out this way, but I'm keeping it. Anyway, I was climbing the Hill of Death from the main gate to the library, when I saw a young attractive male looking in my general direction. The exact moment when we made eye contact, my cardboard sign (which was around my neck) hit me on my face, spreading my purple lipstick to my chin(s). Scotland is a great place, but the wind can be unfortunate sometimes. I kept a scorecard between my sign and me, and so far it is 75-0. I have been defeated by half of an amazon box. The apocalypse is now.
BE SUBTLE:
- Some of my friends helped out a lot with my campaign. They distributed cupcakes with me, they gave out my flyers, they shared their thoughts and opinions, but most importantly, they listened to me talk about it c o n s t a n t l y for 7+ days. Thankfully, I am very skilled in the art of subtlety, so I could ask them for favours and help with the campaign, without sounding too desperate/needy/unprofessional/all around psychotic.
Incidentally, I think I also sent friend requests to every single person who has breathed the same air as me in uni.
DO NOT THREATEN:
- University students love food. Do you know what else they love? Not spending money. I gave out lots of free muffins and cakes and doughnuts with my flyers stuck on them to tempt people into voting for me. I am an extremely hyper active person, and my friends can be just as enthusiastic as me. Whenever anyone would pass us, my friend would immediately run up to them with the tray of food inches away from their mouth and ask breathlessly "HEYDOYOUWANTSOMEFREEFOODITSFREENOMONEYVOTEFORANOUSHKA"which was very nice and worked mostly, but it made me question the method somewhat.
DON'T MAKE EYE CONTACT THAT IS REALLY WEIRD I AM SERIOUS:
- The free food concept ended up working really well, but there were lots of times when my friends and I just stood with the trays of food waiting for someone to take something. During this time, whenever anyone would even glance at the tray, I would immediately look into their eyes, then smile really slowly and creepily. I think a few times I even yelled "Come and get it, I know you want it." at complete strangers, and I have since been informed I am not allowed to do that.
This entire blog post was just an excuse to issue a formal apology for my extremely inappropriate behaviour.
I was high on sharpie fumes.
I cannot be held accountable.
