July 6th.
I hate this day and I always will.
July 6th, 2013. A day that will remain etched into my memory no matter how hard I try to forget about it. I remember it like it were yesterday. It was a Saturday. It was maybe around 7 p.m., I had come back from playing badminton, and I was talking to my good friend Breezy on the phone and checking my Facebook. It was a great day. Earlier that morning I had been selected for a tournament, and we were discussing the day's events. I was laughing at something he was saying, when I saw I had a message from one of my friend's friend, let's call her Kuku. We weren't very close, so I was a bit surprised to hear from her. The message said, I need to talk to you urgently, please call me. I immediately messaged her my number and told her to call me whenever she wanted. I continued to scroll down the News Feed when my blood froze. Was this some sort of joke? I didn't say anything for a long time. Breezy asked me what was wrong. I started to howl very loudly and told him what I had just seen -
May you RIP. We will miss you. You shouldn't have left us like this. Come back, we miss you.
These posts were written on my friend's wall, let's call him Pooksie. (That was what we called him. He detested this name so naturally we only called him that.)
Everything suddenly made sense. That's why Kuku wanted to call me. She was Pooksie's close friend. She probably wanted to break the horrible news to me. Breezy and I were both crying by now, since he was good friends with Pooksie too, and I hung up and called Kuku as fast as I could and my worst fears were confirmed.
My best friend had been dead for two days. Pooksie had hung himself on July 4th.
I loved him and I will always love him. The reason for his actions is still unknown. He left us to starve for his presence, but we have forgiven him. He will always watch over us, and we love him to bits.
Anyway, I don't want to mention Pooksie any further because
1) It's too personal
2) I'll break down
I was wasting time the other day, reading posts on http://iwastesomuchtime.com/ (see what I did there?) when I came across this beautiful quotation -
"Suicide does not end the chance of life getting worse. It eliminates the chances of it ever getting better."
Suicide. Why?
I hate this day and I always will.
July 6th, 2013. A day that will remain etched into my memory no matter how hard I try to forget about it. I remember it like it were yesterday. It was a Saturday. It was maybe around 7 p.m., I had come back from playing badminton, and I was talking to my good friend Breezy on the phone and checking my Facebook. It was a great day. Earlier that morning I had been selected for a tournament, and we were discussing the day's events. I was laughing at something he was saying, when I saw I had a message from one of my friend's friend, let's call her Kuku. We weren't very close, so I was a bit surprised to hear from her. The message said, I need to talk to you urgently, please call me. I immediately messaged her my number and told her to call me whenever she wanted. I continued to scroll down the News Feed when my blood froze. Was this some sort of joke? I didn't say anything for a long time. Breezy asked me what was wrong. I started to howl very loudly and told him what I had just seen -
May you RIP. We will miss you. You shouldn't have left us like this. Come back, we miss you.
These posts were written on my friend's wall, let's call him Pooksie. (That was what we called him. He detested this name so naturally we only called him that.)
Everything suddenly made sense. That's why Kuku wanted to call me. She was Pooksie's close friend. She probably wanted to break the horrible news to me. Breezy and I were both crying by now, since he was good friends with Pooksie too, and I hung up and called Kuku as fast as I could and my worst fears were confirmed.
My best friend had been dead for two days. Pooksie had hung himself on July 4th.
I loved him and I will always love him. The reason for his actions is still unknown. He left us to starve for his presence, but we have forgiven him. He will always watch over us, and we love him to bits.
Anyway, I don't want to mention Pooksie any further because
1) It's too personal
2) I'll break down
I was wasting time the other day, reading posts on http://iwastesomuchtime.com/ (see what I did there?) when I came across this beautiful quotation -
"Suicide does not end the chance of life getting worse. It eliminates the chances of it ever getting better."
Suicide. Why?
I know depression, I've faced depression. It can be because of the silliest reasons. I don't understand Physics. I want to drink Pepsi but I'm afraid I'll get fat. That cute boy won't reply to my messages. My dog is ill.
It could be because of any damn reason.
I think every teenager has been depressed at some point of time in his/her life. The magnitude and reason of the depression is not valid. One can be depressed for however big or small or insignificant a reason; whether over one's love life, or not making that desired Math grade - depression is depression. It makes one go crazy.
Why should I continue living? Things can never change. Everything will continue to suck. Nobody will ever care about me. I'm a pathetic and total waste of space. If I cut myself, will people start to love me? If I my wrists bleed, will the new pain numb the old one? If I hang myself, will the disturbance finally stop?
No. You can only fight depression. You can't end it suddenly by taking impulsive decisions. Every problem can be solved. You need to tell yourself. You were born into this world for a reason. Time does heal all wounds. It sounds sappy, but it's true.
Nobody can be happy all the time. It's not human. I'm pretty satisfied with myself all the time but sometimes I just need to break something, or shout loudly, or just cry into my pillow. It's normal. Our eyes have to be washed by tears sometimes to perceive things more clearly.
But that's not a good enough reason to end your life. Believe me, you might think that the stars may shine when you die, the sun might come out, the wind might blow. But without you, we don't want them.
I don't know who you are, random stranger. Maybe I know you, maybe I don't. Maybe you have a wonderful life, maybe you have a terrible life. Maybe you're having a crappy day so far, maybe today was the best day of your life. I don't know. But I care. And so do countless others. Never ever quit. Things get better. We may find ourselves in the middle of nowhere sometimes. But sometimes, in the middle of nowhere, we find ourselves.
Cheer up. Things get better eventually. Life may seem cruel to you, and only you right now. But things will pick up soon, I promise. But don't quit. Please.
Give life a chance, it's not that bad.
It could be because of any damn reason.
I think every teenager has been depressed at some point of time in his/her life. The magnitude and reason of the depression is not valid. One can be depressed for however big or small or insignificant a reason; whether over one's love life, or not making that desired Math grade - depression is depression. It makes one go crazy.
Why should I continue living? Things can never change. Everything will continue to suck. Nobody will ever care about me. I'm a pathetic and total waste of space. If I cut myself, will people start to love me? If I my wrists bleed, will the new pain numb the old one? If I hang myself, will the disturbance finally stop?
No. You can only fight depression. You can't end it suddenly by taking impulsive decisions. Every problem can be solved. You need to tell yourself. You were born into this world for a reason. Time does heal all wounds. It sounds sappy, but it's true.
Nobody can be happy all the time. It's not human. I'm pretty satisfied with myself all the time but sometimes I just need to break something, or shout loudly, or just cry into my pillow. It's normal. Our eyes have to be washed by tears sometimes to perceive things more clearly.
But that's not a good enough reason to end your life. Believe me, you might think that the stars may shine when you die, the sun might come out, the wind might blow. But without you, we don't want them.
I don't know who you are, random stranger. Maybe I know you, maybe I don't. Maybe you have a wonderful life, maybe you have a terrible life. Maybe you're having a crappy day so far, maybe today was the best day of your life. I don't know. But I care. And so do countless others. Never ever quit. Things get better. We may find ourselves in the middle of nowhere sometimes. But sometimes, in the middle of nowhere, we find ourselves.
Cheer up. Things get better eventually. Life may seem cruel to you, and only you right now. But things will pick up soon, I promise. But don't quit. Please.
Give life a chance, it's not that bad.
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