I wish I were a cat. Those things are really fuzzy.
No lie.
Do you know what's the weirdest yet most entertaining shit in the entire world? Animal videos on YouTube. Dogs and cats can be jerks, Cute dog wakes up owner, Cat does handtsnad, Rat does cartwheel. (I might have maybe made the last two up. But it's the thought that counts.)
Izzy is obssesed with them. She makes me watch them against my will. She once made me watch a forty minute video about a dog trying to get up from the floor or something. Last month she made me watch a video about a rat who can like fetch the car keys or something (I forget the details). Today she made me watch one with a dog trying to act like a DJ.
I wonder if other people go through the things I do.
Anyway, do you know what's really, really, hard? Like tougher than learning Trigonometry? ( Just kidding, nothing is tougher than that.) Doing pushups.
Hold that thought.
Don't get me wrong. I'm all about the health and fitness and that sort of thing. It's not like I'm super skinny, and it's not like I eat only healthy food. In fact I haven't even tried 75% of the vegetables. But I really, really love working out. Pizza and I made this deal three months ago, we made an entire routine for ourselves, (20 squats, 45-second wall sit, 20 butterfly crunches, 20 lunges, 20 pushups daily, that sort of thing) and we really stuck to it. Our lowest weight reached was 48 kilograms, and everyday we tried to top each other and become even fitter. It was exhilarating and awesome, and if I sucked my stomach in a lot, and didn't breathe for a long time, and if you looked at me from a distance, you would totally think that I have a six pack. I'm not even kidding.
Anyway, it was great for a while, and I was really enthusiastic about it. I stuck little notes for myself all over my room. Stuff like Don't drink that last Coke! 45 kgs by 7th May, you can do it! Stay focused!
I never forgot to work out. One time, we had gone out, and I was wearing traditional clothes or something, and I realized that I had forgotten to do the routine, so I did it there and then, doing crunches in my churdidar. But alas, I did not get my happily ever after. After some months, I fell sick, or maybe I had too much studying to do, anyway, I forgot to the do the routine for a few days, and then I completely forgot about it for a while. I was getting really good too, I could finally even do 30 (very) crude pushups, but at least it was something.
Anyway, Pizza already had his stupid six pack, and I was nowhere near getting mine, so I just decided to stop the routine and eat chocolate instead. Until today.
Izzy and I were bored, and she randomly said something about a pushup. Upon hearing this term, my ears perked up, like my dog Sid's ears perk up when he smells Pizza. (The actually Pizza, not my friend the Pizza.) Anyway, I told her pushups were a piece of cake and I could totally still do them. Izzy laughed at me for a while then asked me to go ahead and demonstrate.
Heart hammering in my chest, I slowly got up from my chair. I felt like an Olympian. I subtly pulled up my shorts for the fear that they might fall off, and advanced towards the edge of the bed. (I CAN ONLY DO A PUSHUP WITH THE HELP OF AN EXTERNAL SUPPORT OKAY LET ME BE) I slowly lowered my body on the floor, or whatever it is you do, and immediately crashed to the floor. It hurt. A lot. I tried again, but I again hit the floor, and I couldn't even get up. I was just lying on the floor with my stomach on the floor, flailing about like a dead starfirsh. It was really sad. Izzy told me she could do it, and she confidently did exactly what I had done. It basically ended up with lying face down on the floor trying to get up (and failing). We stayed like that for a longer time than I would like to admit.
My mother finally came in and saw us lying on the floor laughing admist the dust and Sid's hair which he sheds 24/7.
I'm sure she questioned a lot of her life decisions when she saw me like that.
No lie.
Do you know what's the weirdest yet most entertaining shit in the entire world? Animal videos on YouTube. Dogs and cats can be jerks, Cute dog wakes up owner, Cat does handtsnad, Rat does cartwheel. (I might have maybe made the last two up. But it's the thought that counts.)
Izzy is obssesed with them. She makes me watch them against my will. She once made me watch a forty minute video about a dog trying to get up from the floor or something. Last month she made me watch a video about a rat who can like fetch the car keys or something (I forget the details). Today she made me watch one with a dog trying to act like a DJ.
I wonder if other people go through the things I do.
Anyway, do you know what's really, really, hard? Like tougher than learning Trigonometry? ( Just kidding, nothing is tougher than that.) Doing pushups.
Hold that thought.
Don't get me wrong. I'm all about the health and fitness and that sort of thing. It's not like I'm super skinny, and it's not like I eat only healthy food. In fact I haven't even tried 75% of the vegetables. But I really, really love working out. Pizza and I made this deal three months ago, we made an entire routine for ourselves, (20 squats, 45-second wall sit, 20 butterfly crunches, 20 lunges, 20 pushups daily, that sort of thing) and we really stuck to it. Our lowest weight reached was 48 kilograms, and everyday we tried to top each other and become even fitter. It was exhilarating and awesome, and if I sucked my stomach in a lot, and didn't breathe for a long time, and if you looked at me from a distance, you would totally think that I have a six pack. I'm not even kidding.
Anyway, it was great for a while, and I was really enthusiastic about it. I stuck little notes for myself all over my room. Stuff like Don't drink that last Coke! 45 kgs by 7th May, you can do it! Stay focused!
I never forgot to work out. One time, we had gone out, and I was wearing traditional clothes or something, and I realized that I had forgotten to do the routine, so I did it there and then, doing crunches in my churdidar. But alas, I did not get my happily ever after. After some months, I fell sick, or maybe I had too much studying to do, anyway, I forgot to the do the routine for a few days, and then I completely forgot about it for a while. I was getting really good too, I could finally even do 30 (very) crude pushups, but at least it was something.
Anyway, Pizza already had his stupid six pack, and I was nowhere near getting mine, so I just decided to stop the routine and eat chocolate instead. Until today.
Izzy and I were bored, and she randomly said something about a pushup. Upon hearing this term, my ears perked up, like my dog Sid's ears perk up when he smells Pizza. (The actually Pizza, not my friend the Pizza.) Anyway, I told her pushups were a piece of cake and I could totally still do them. Izzy laughed at me for a while then asked me to go ahead and demonstrate.
Heart hammering in my chest, I slowly got up from my chair. I felt like an Olympian. I subtly pulled up my shorts for the fear that they might fall off, and advanced towards the edge of the bed. (I CAN ONLY DO A PUSHUP WITH THE HELP OF AN EXTERNAL SUPPORT OKAY LET ME BE) I slowly lowered my body on the floor, or whatever it is you do, and immediately crashed to the floor. It hurt. A lot. I tried again, but I again hit the floor, and I couldn't even get up. I was just lying on the floor with my stomach on the floor, flailing about like a dead starfirsh. It was really sad. Izzy told me she could do it, and she confidently did exactly what I had done. It basically ended up with lying face down on the floor trying to get up (and failing). We stayed like that for a longer time than I would like to admit.
My mother finally came in and saw us lying on the floor laughing admist the dust and Sid's hair which he sheds 24/7.
I'm sure she questioned a lot of her life decisions when she saw me like that.
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