Bullying Is Bad

Wow so I saw the The Fault In Our Stars yesterday, finally. Let's talk about that for a moment.

I had just had a very (very) large Coke, and I really needed to go use the bathroom. Like really bad.

But I cried so much, I think my body got confused about which end I was supposed to lose water out of. It was like my body had decided to compensate by by making me cry so that I wouldn't have to pee.

It makes perfect sense. Don't question my logic.

The point is, it was an amazingly beautiful movie, and it made us cry a LOT. But obviously, like I pointed out at the top of my voice in the theatre, the book was better.

Anyway, that concludes my critical view (ish) vis-a-vis The Fault In Our Stars.

On a not so random note, do you know what's bad? Bullying.

Do you know who got bullied? Me.

I'd always been a skinny and puny sort of a kid. A crybaby too. I remember I had this toy which like sang songs and glowed in the dark or something. You had to push a button to make it sing and that was one of the most complex problems of my life - what was this magical button? How did it turn the toy on? How does one push the button? What is this witchcraft? I never figured it out. I'd simply start crying until my sister patiently pushed the button.

 I mean now I've evolved into what my sister calls, well, a man, since I beat all my (girl) friends in arm wrestling and maybe I've gotten clothes from the boys' clothes section more than once, and maybe because one of my friends calls me 'puberty boy' implying that my voice sounds like a boy's. Going through puberty. (Pretty self explanatory).

Anyway, I was not always the unbelievably sexy monster that I am today.

It was a warm day in August. Maybe. It could've been. I was in Nursery School. I was minding my own business and sitting beneath the slide (naturally) and maybe playing hide and seek (not eating dirt like Izzy claims I was). Suddenly, this boy from my class spots me having the time of my life sitting peacefully under the slide, and decides to destroy it. I still remember him. His name was Abbu Salim. He looked at me, and said to me the choicest of swear words in Hindi. I'm not going to mention them here. I'm not going to repeat them on this side of the grave. Anyway that was the day when a two year old made me cry using only words.

The other Major Bullying Event in my life was when I was maybe eight. I was playing football with my fellow buffoons (having not discovered badminton yet). That was the year I had returned from Australia and I had this weird obsession with and craze for beanies and bandanas and hats. Anyway, I was wearing one that day and Pizza, whom I was only acquainted with, (little did we know we'd grow up to be best friends heuehuehue) decided it would be a lovely idea to snatch my beanie off my head and throw it around. We had a gala time chasing each other around the field.

Ah, kids are so simple minded.

Anyway, pretty soon Marshmallow and, let's call her Momo, decided to join in on the fun. The details elude me but next thing I remember is getting beat up by two of my would-be best friends (thank you guys). They decided sit on top of me, just for the hell of it, and kind of, well, hit me. It was a actually kind of funny. Pizza was rolling around laughing. What basically happened was they pinned me to the ground then kind of hit me with my own shoes (for fun). We were all tiny so I I doubt that they were actually hurting me but that didn't stop me from bawling loudly at the top of my voice. My mother had it finally come and fetch me, even though the field was like right behind my house.


So that was how I got beat up by own shoes.

The End.